Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

What life lesson did you learn the hard way?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

How would you advertise if you wanted to be a "tour guide" who can take you through the dark web while warning you what not to look at and not to click on?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I actually pay taxes

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

If you used Pocket to save links, these alternatives will serve you well - Android Police

I can count

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have complete contempt for fakery

Webb telescope detects water vapor on a planet outside the solar system smaller than Neptune - Earth.com

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What is a sermon to talk about men?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I have a reading level above third grade

For the First Time, Scientists Spot Water Around a Young Star Similar to Our Sun - The Daily Galaxy

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I can read

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What do you do to make yourself sleep early?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What would be the lowest score with 9 strikes and no gutter balls?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

What does it mean when a British person says "I can't be asked"?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t buy bullshit

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Hand Sanitizer Isn't As Effective At Killing Germs As You Think — Here's What You Need To Know - HuffPost

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

Can an astrologer predict that someone is in a physical relationship before marriage?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Wastewater is now helping track measles spread around the US - CNN

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I don’t cotton to rapists

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I see through liars

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”